The Despair Inc. Blog

Oops.

In my rush to get out yesterday’s Wailing List, I neglected to mention one important new addition to the Despair Video collection. I will do so now- apologizing first for sending you two mails within so short a window of time.

Fans of Mark Osborne’s Academy-Award nominated short-film masterpiece More will be pleased to note that we’ve increased the resolution of our online version of the film. And what’s more, we’ve actually added 3 commentary tracks for the film- right off of our Special-Edition DVD itself! (Available for sale below the movie itself, in case you missed it.)

The first track is Mark Osborne’s “Creative Commentary”, which offers rich, insightful perspectives on the storyline of the film itself.

Secondly, Mark offers a “Technical Commentary”, explaining how several specific shots in the film were accomplished- as well as how various special effects were achieved.

The final commentary track is from Dr. Kersten himself- who offers an executive’s penetrating perspective into the storyline of MORE.

These commentary tracks are just a fraction of the riches from the Special-Edition DVD. If you consider yourself a fan of great film, you owe it to yourself to pick up a copy of this two-DVD opus. Watch the hour-long documentary “Making More”, which shows how a team of only 6 people, working with an extremely primitive IMAX camera, managed to create this masterpiece. Browse through an additional hour of behind-the-scene footage - as the team documents their mishaps and frustrations in a pressure-cooker environment. Browse through over 100 photos from the shoot- with narration by Osborne. And enjoy two additional stop-motion films- contributed by crew members of More.

What more do you want? DVDTown.com said of the film itself, “The movie succeeds on every level and is a monument in American cinema” and then said of the DVD, “…this six-minute short has produce DVD material that puts the majority of Hollywood studios to shame… (It is) a must-own collection for aspiring independent filmmakers and those who enjoy the crafting of a film.”   (Read the Full DVD Town Reviews  - Part 1 | Part 2 )

In other words- if you don’t already own it, get it!

THAT’S RIGHT! THE SUMMER EDITION CALENDAR IS NOW SHIPPING!
DR. E.L.KERSTEN IS BACK WITH A VIDEO TOUR OF OUR DIY TOOL!
AND WE’RE GIVING AWAY FREE DIY PARODY PRINTS (FOR A LIMITED TIME)!

Yet again, I find myself more than a little surprised by the embarrassment of riches we’re offering this week! In fact, I’m frankly at a loss for words- which I’m sure will come as a great delight to the many of you who complain that I have a verbosity problem. So yet again, I’ll avoid providing you with my usual supply of perfectly legitimate grousing, periodic company gossip, and/or the occasional typographical error… Instead, let’s go directly to the gratuitous product plugging…

The Summer-Edition Build Your Own Calendar is Here!

With a start month of July 2008 and an ending month of June 2009, this calendar is the perfect late Father’s Day Present! (Of course we can’t likely get it there in time- don’t even ask. But you could print of a picture of it and tell them it’s coming next week, right? It’s your DAD, after all- he’s already become perfectly accustomed to the stable supply of disappointment you’ve provided him with over the years… Why surprise him?)

And hey- don’t forget- the Special Edition version of that same calendar also include 4 additional prints of your choosing for only $5 more! That’s a steal!

The New DIY Guided Tour Video

In what is either an overt homage to Apple.com or an outright theft of look/feel, Dr. E.L.Kersten offers individuals an online tutorial in the usage of our nifty Do-It-Yourself tool for creating Parody Motivational posters. But the true surprise is that- for a limited time- Kersten has authorized that your first DIY print is FREE (rather than the $12.95 we usually charge)! (But remember, you need to order $19.95 in other products from our store in order to get the discount…)

And speaking of freebies and discounts and videos…

Demotivator® Vinyl Adhesives!

What do you know? Last week’s “first-pack-is-free” promotion on the new Demotivator® Vinyl Adhesives seems not to have yet been updated yet! So if you haven’t already picked up a set, you probably should- because the IT guys will eventually get around to reading this mail and will disable the freebie code. (What, you don’t know what the Demotivator Vinyl Adhesives are? Well why don’t you watch the video above and find out!) And on top of all this other freebie goodness, The Bummertime Sale is still underway! So all t-shirts are still discounted by $5! What more do you need to know?

The pitching is over- let the buying BEGIN!

The Bummertime Sale!

THAT’S RIGHT! $5 OFF ALL TEES (INCLUDING 3 NEW ONES!)
AND THERE’S EVEN A WAILING-LIST EXCLUSIVE FREEBIE,
DEMONSTRATED ON VIDEO FOR YOU BY DR. E.L. KERSTEN!

I can hardly believe it myself- that I’m sending out a Wailing List plugging 4 NEW PRODUCTS at once. Yet here we are! I won’t waste your time with a lot of marketing blahsmack this time around- let’s get right to the new stuff! Starting with my personal favorite…

The Overtime Tee!

Yes, it’s our latest entry in the beloved Despair Illustrated collection- the beautiful new “Overtime” Tee! Depicting a desktop perhaps not unlike your own- where an unnamed worker, perhaps not unlike you- has been forced by circumstances beyond his (or her) control into Overtime Play… Where everyone goes home a winner (except, of course, for the employer… Who stands to lose money AND office supplies…)

The Rad Tee!

And how about another little something for you nerdy, scientific sorts? It’s The Rad Tee. And if you don’t understand why it’s the most rad shirt ever made, then you probably have a far more vibrant social life than those of us who DO get it, and think it’s funny… (Lucky jerks…) And hey there nerdy ladies! This one comes in a babydoll tee cut, too!

The Headache Tee!

And last of all- for those of you who prefer your t-shirt humor a little more obvious and a little more confrontational- we’re pleased to introduce you to our new Headache tee. It’s the perfect way to quietly prevail in nearly any argument you might stumble into. In fact, with a shirt like this, you’ll find yourself probably starting arguments just so you can push people to try to counter you, whereupon your eyes need only drift slowly to your own chest while your hands are raised slowly to your temples. That’ll show ‘em!

But we’re still not finished!

Because not only are we discounting ALL of our t-shirts by $5, and not only are we rolling out 3 new designs that rock heavily, we’re also giving you Wailing List subscribers a rare chance to get something as yet unavailable to the outside world- and for free!

Demotivator® Vinyl Adhesives!

The picture and link above will take you to a full-scale product demonstration- offered by Dr. E.L.Kersten. And for a limited time- Wailing List subscribers can get their first set for free! Just add one to your cart and you’ll see the price is $0!. Each additional set is $9.95! (But hey there short-cut lovers- don’t think you can put one in your cart and complete your order… The store minimums are set to $19.95 for any order. You gotta spend SOMETHING- this ain’t a not-for-profit created for the purposes of bringing happiness to those suffering from melancholia. It’s a for-profit created for the purposes of liberating disposable income from the pockets of that same constituency… We’ll give something back to society once we’re crazy rich ourselves, in the grand tradition of other robber barons.)

That’s it! START SPENDING!

 * Or So I Was Told to Say by my Superior in Marketing (who apparently had her brakes recently relined…)

Actually it’s because we haven’t sent out a Wailing List in 3 weeks and are trying to silence those of you who are sending in angry emails about it…No coupon codes necessary. Just start shopping. Everything in the store is 25% off, without exception (except for, uh, a few things like Gift Certificates, etc.)

Now- in answer to those of you who have been writing me (or calling the already beleaguered folks in the Call Center) and asking WHY we haven’t sent out a new Wailing List in three weeks… The short answer is that, well, the Product Development department didn’t send us any new stuff to promote since the Blackout. Because (drum roll) they’ve been working on the next Despair Video (Inserting obligatory link to my personal favorite here).

Continue reading”The Wailing List - New Tees AND a Sale!” »

AN ASTONISHING NEW DOCUMENTARY. FROM LAURA DUNN, A FRIEND OF DESPAIR.

Yes, you read it right.

Despair, Inc. — the occasionally-lovable-but-mostly-irritating-rogues-who-constantly-
pepper-your-in-box-with-advertisements-and-promotions-for-a-truly-dazzling-array-
of-crap-you-absolutely-do-not-need-and-very-probably-should-not-buy – helped to produce a critically-acclaimed, stunningly beautiful new documentary by longtime company friend and collaborator Laura Dunn. And now that the film is beginning a limited-theatrical run, we’d like to encourage you to see it - if/when it opens in your town.

“What is it about?”, you ask, already skeptical.

Watch the trailer.

Continue reading”Despair, Inc. presents: THE UNFORESEEN - a New Documentary” »

In his inaugural address directly to long-time Despair fans like yourself, Dr. Kersten offers a brief glimpse into Despair’s past and future- along with a very special present: a coupon code.

(Get it? It’s temporal humor! Theoretically, at least.)

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Click on the above to watch this video.