November 29, 2007 at 11:13 pm
Twas the Night Before Christmas…
Only 1,000 will be produced. 750 Men’s Tees. 250 Women’s Tees. Then the shirt- the first Collectible Tee in DespairWear history- will be removed from our site forever.
“Why?”, you ask, “Why would you would pull it? What if it’s popular? What if everybody wants it?”
Then we expect to see these being sold on eBay for increasingly shocking prices, making owners of the tee extraordinarily wealthy.
Continue reading”The Wailing List - Twas the Night Before Christmas” »
November 7, 2007 at 11:43 pm
New DespairWear: Wickedosity!
What? You need a funny marketing pitch to decide whether or not you’ll buy this shirt? Are you nuts? It says “WICKEDOSITY” on it- what more do you need? A baby-doll version? It’s DONE!
October 11, 2007 at 9:24 pm
The Blogosphere is exploding- like a self-replicating supervirus bursting with mundane observations, bad poetry, and generously misrepresentative photos. Never have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.
“What can be done to stop it?”,you ask, the alarm clearly palpable on your face.
“Don’t look at me with that innocent expression. I know you have a blog, too!”
“But so does Despair!, you retort, your voice faltering.
“The difference is that people actually READ ours!” I deftly counter.
Continue reading”New Despairwear - Your Blog” »
October 3, 2007 at 5:24 pm
Introducing Two Amazing New Demotivators Tees.
One of which should’ve been launched last Wednesday, but…
…surprise, idiots in the marketing department screwed that up completely. Again.Not that you asked, of course. Not that you even care, even if the story is a rather epic adventure that stars a valiant, even dashing when-the-light-is-just-right and you’re-standing-just-far-enough-away marketing peon locked in a heroic if doomed struggle against the overwhelming forces of department stupidity and bureaucratic oppression.No, if I know you (and believe me, I do), you are far more interested in hearing about other goings-on at Despair.Shall I elaborate? Why not?
Continue reading”New Despairwear - Cluelessness and Burnout” »
October 3, 2007 at 4:59 pm
THE TIME FOR ACTION IS PAST.
Now is the time for senseless bickering.
There comes a time in every life when we are confronted with the opportunity to be bold, decisive, even heroic. The fates give us a chance to prove what it is that we are made of. Our mettle. Our resolve. Our resilience.
But let’s be serious- that’s not us. You’re a customer of Despair, which suggests you’re a lot more likely than average to shrink to the any occasion for decisiveness, rather than rising to it. I’m an employee of Despair- which is even worse. And lives such as ours are filled with opportunities missed. Yet it is when such moments pass us by that we prove our true giftedness. We whine. We blame. And we argue. Sometimes all it once. We’ve all been there. We’ve all done that. And now it’s time for us all to get the T-shirt.
September 13, 2007 at 8:43 pm
biodegradable! You’re welcome, mother Earth!)
