The Despair Inc. Blog

THAT’S RIGHT! THE SUMMER EDITION CALENDAR IS NOW SHIPPING!
DR. E.L.KERSTEN IS BACK WITH A VIDEO TOUR OF OUR DIY TOOL!
AND WE’RE GIVING AWAY FREE DIY PARODY PRINTS (FOR A LIMITED TIME)!

Yet again, I find myself more than a little surprised by the embarrassment of riches we’re offering this week! In fact, I’m frankly at a loss for words- which I’m sure will come as a great delight to the many of you who complain that I have a verbosity problem. So yet again, I’ll avoid providing you with my usual supply of perfectly legitimate grousing, periodic company gossip, and/or the occasional typographical error… Instead, let’s go directly to the gratuitous product plugging…

The Summer-Edition Build Your Own Calendar is Here!

With a start month of July 2008 and an ending month of June 2009, this calendar is the perfect late Father’s Day Present! (Of course we can’t likely get it there in time- don’t even ask. But you could print of a picture of it and tell them it’s coming next week, right? It’s your DAD, after all- he’s already become perfectly accustomed to the stable supply of disappointment you’ve provided him with over the years… Why surprise him?)

And hey- don’t forget- the Special Edition version of that same calendar also include 4 additional prints of your choosing for only $5 more! That’s a steal!

The New DIY Guided Tour Video

In what is either an overt homage to Apple.com or an outright theft of look/feel, Dr. E.L.Kersten offers individuals an online tutorial in the usage of our nifty Do-It-Yourself tool for creating Parody Motivational posters. But the true surprise is that- for a limited time- Kersten has authorized that your first DIY print is FREE (rather than the $12.95 we usually charge)! (But remember, you need to order $19.95 in other products from our store in order to get the discount…)

And speaking of freebies and discounts and videos…

Demotivator® Vinyl Adhesives!

What do you know? Last week’s “first-pack-is-free” promotion on the new Demotivator® Vinyl Adhesives seems not to have yet been updated yet! So if you haven’t already picked up a set, you probably should- because the IT guys will eventually get around to reading this mail and will disable the freebie code. (What, you don’t know what the Demotivator Vinyl Adhesives are? Well why don’t you watch the video above and find out!) And on top of all this other freebie goodness, The Bummertime Sale is still underway! So all t-shirts are still discounted by $5! What more do you need to know?

The pitching is over- let the buying BEGIN!

Experience the latest entry into Despair’s growing collection of cinematic excursions- an epic work titled simply, “Teamwork“. How epic, you wonder? It’s over 13 minutes long- split into two parts- and, in its native format, is 1920×1080 pixels in size. Yes, I said over 13 minutes. So you’re going to have to be discreet if you attempt to watch it in the workplace… (And as always, we aren’t liable if you get fired for doing that…)

But that’s not all. All of Despair’s earlier videos have been released in higher-resolution Flash-player formats- so that they can be enjoyed anew in richer resolution across most computing platforms and browsers.

Go team!

INTRODUCING THE LATEST DEMOTIVATOR® DESIGN IN DESPAIRWEAR FORM.

One of our most dehumanizing designs to date has finally made the leap to DespairWear form! Our Worth Demotivator joins other classic Demotivator designs, including Consistency, Cluelessness, Wishes, Potential, and Mistakes- and in so doing, makes the already devastating line of surprisingly well-produced t-shirts even more unbearably soul-crushing!

As with all of DespairWear Demotivator Tees, the photographic original has been beautifully translated into illustrated form with artistry and finesse. And for the remainder of the week, Wailing List subscribers can pick up their own Worth Tee for $3 off the retail price- just by using the coupon code “worthless”. (Remember- don’t include the quotes when keying the code in our check-out process, or a $3 Bonehead Tax will be added to your order.)

It’s Finally Here.

Since the unveiling of our awesome Do-It-Yourself tool- The Parody Motivator Generator- online audiences have generated literally hundreds of thousands of their own reliably unfunny parodies. But, every so often, to our amazement, something actually amusing has been produced as a result. Very, very occasionally, it’s actually even funny. Yet before today, it was impossible for the creator of an amusing parody to actually purchase a high-resolution printed poster of that design. And this has led to no shortage of complaints from our own population of the chronically dissatisfied.

But as of today, the complaints must stop. Because today, Despair is proud to announce the availability of purchasable, high-resolution 11″x14″ posters of your own DIY parodies!

And what’s more- as is occasionally our want- we’re making this new product available to our Wailing List audience at a discount off of its retail price of $12.95! Provided they are able to follow the most basic of instructions.

Continue reading”Your Own Printed DIY Demotivator Posters” »

(Dream the impossible dream no more! Buy it!)

(Click to order/Tecleo a comprar!)