January 31, 2008 at 2:34 am
The signs are unmistakable.
The dismal specter of yet another agonizing Valentine’s Day lumbers fatefully closer like some pink, sappy-faced behemoth. It reeks of refrigerated flowers and dirty cash, its roar a cacophony of disposable jingles for cheap diamonds, decapitated roses, and sickening confections barely fit for human consumption. It descends ravenous upon us all, feeding on hearts- whether bitter, black, or broken- passing over only the rare few it finds in a state of true romantic love.
To them, rather the vulgar monstrosity it is, the beast appears instead as a dear friend long awaited. They are swept as lovers into the creature’s intoxicating embrace, not to be devoured, but rather only pickpocketed, then left dizzied and drunk, as the beast returns to hibernation. In a year, it will return- more diabolical than before. And as certain as its coming, it will feed first and most viciously on the very ones it passed the year before. For what romance lasts longer than a season, anyway?
Continue reading”Introducing The Candy Heart Generator” »
January 8, 2008 at 12:58 am
BitterSweets are back- with twice the candies, gorgeous new tins, and a brand new collection for the Dumped!
For most, there is no crueler day of the calendar year than that of Valentine’s Day. While a tiny fraction of the population can look forward to a holiday of wine and roses, poetry and song, the vast majority of us can anticipate a day of nausea and grimacing, trauma and grief. A day in which minutes seem like hours, and hours like days, as we reflect sorrowfully on yesteryear’s romantic indignities, today’s loneliness, and the unknowable but certain heartbreak that will be visited upon us repeatedly in the years to come.
When cruelty and holidays collide, the weak-willed find solace in self-pity and comfort foods. And now, Despair Inc. is pleased to announce that we’ve combined BOTH into a radical new offering.
Introducing BitterSweets® - The Valentine’s Candy for the Rest of Us.
Continue reading”Bittersweets - Valentine’s Candy for the Rest of Us” »
