The Wrap Party, 3 New Demotivators and Free Stuff (Expires Soon, Read for Details)
To celebrate the completion of our Fall Catalog, Despair’s throwing a 24-hour party!
(And incredibly, you’re invited!)
Okay folks- this is another one of those PAY ATTENTION BECAUSE YOU MIGHT MISS OUT ON SOME AWESOMENESS IF YOU DON’T sort-of emails! I’ll be as succinct as I can be, though my instinctive verbosity is no secret to you and there’s every chance my attempts at a concise summation will go horribly, horribly wrong. Here’s the scoop on “The Wrap Party”:
As of this weekend, Despair’s writers and the marketing dorks managed to complete work on the 2009 Fall Catalog. Very soon, hundreds of thousands of catalogs will be in the mail, arriving perhaps in a mailbox near you.
Like every Holiday Catalog we mail, its purpose will be to plug calendars, and DespairWear, and all the new stuff we’ve created this year- along with longstanding favorites. And- as is typically the case for us- the catalog will be printed and mailed with little in the way of product discounts or freebies. That is what The Wrap Party is all about.
In the brief time before the catalog arrives, Despair is having a final big giveaway promotion- the sort we only have a few times a year (and almost never have once the catalogs start mailing).
So- what’s the Wrap-Party got to offer YOU?
1) FREE LITHOGRAPHS – This is the best lithograph deal we’ve ever done- so of course it will only be running for 24 hours. Here’s the scoop… If you buy ANY 24×30 LITHOGRAPH, Despair will automatically include our brand-new lithographs for CHALLENGES and PERSEVERANCE- for FREE! Yes, that really means BUY ONE GET TWO FREE. But because this deal is so generous, we’re only offering it for a day. So if you want to pick up 3 gorgeous posters for the price of 1, you have to order a poster TODAY. (NOTE: You will not see the two freebie posters appear in your shopping cart… This is like a trust-fall where you’ll just have to take our word that we’re really giving you two-free-with-any-one-purchased. Are you ready to take the fall?)
2) DISCOUNTED BRAND-NEW DESKTOPPERS – As of today, Despair is releasing THREE brand-new Demotivators! They are CREATIVITY (written by ME!), ECONOMICS, and SERVICE. And- for 24 hours only- these three desktoppers are available for $11.95 instead of $15.95. The prices will be raised tomorrow- so we can charge catalog recipients full-price for these awesome new additions to the Demotivator family- so HURRY!
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| A Celebration of Human Misery, Incompetence and Hubris |
3) DISCOUNTED 12-MONTH CALENDARS - We are now adding FUNNY DATES to our 12-MONTH Calendars- just as we previously did to our 16-Month. And for FREE. And- for 24-hours only- we’re making that normally $19.95 calendar available for $15.95. That’s 25% off- or something close to that, anyway. It’s the cheapest price you’ll get this year for a fully-customizable Demotivators calendar crammed-full of funny, weird, depressing historical dates. This too lasts only 24-hours! Are you seeing the pattern yet, Brewster?
4) FREE SHIPPING ON DOMESTIC ORDERS OVER $40 – Typically, our threshold for free U.S. shipping is $50 worth of products. Once this promotion is over, the $50 minimum for free shipping will return. (You get one guess when this promotion is over… Just one.)
5) GLASSWARE IS BACK! - Many of you have found, to your annoyance, that Despair was backordered on many of our beautiful glassware items- such as the Points-Of-View Glass, variations of our Pessimist’s Glasses, and many of our Demotivators Mugs. Well guess what- we’ve taken them off backorder- so if you’re looking to score one or more, now is the time!)
Are you excited? So are we! If you feel prompted, you are more than welcome to RETWEET the following little blurblette, plugging our three hilarious and incisive new Demotivators:
Despair.com Adds New Demotivators! CREATIVITY- http://cli.gs/n6rNRg ECONOMICS- http://cli.gs/Nstn1M SERVICE- http://cli.gs/ThnTMb
So- that’s the scoop on the Wrap Party. It’s a great deal that- like so many other great deals- can’t last long, because it’s TOO great. So stop sitting there with your jaw hanging open and start buying stuff- before you miss your chance!
Did I mention three awesome new Demotivators? Well, so I did… But I didn’t embed images of them above- because I figured hyperlinks would be enough. Yet some of you are STILL READING- long after you should have stopped and started buying stuff slavishly upon my prior suggestion. So I assume you need just a little bit more encouragement in order to act. Well- here it is- some embedded pics of those three new designs…
