The Despair Inc. Blog

There’s an exciting new game sweeping the nation. It’s called “Kleptocracy”- and the stakes couldn’t possibly be higher. Fortunes will be made by a select few- and lost by all others who choose to play.

(By the way, participation in THIS game is mandatory. Just in case you’re the sort who likes to play it safe and by the rules. There’s a word for people like in the Game of Kleptocracy. It’s called “LOSER”.)

Each of our 3 new KLEPTOCRACY tees features a card from the game on the front- and the KLEPTOCRACY logo on the back! And hey there, Twitterers… If you want to spread the word, just ReTweet the following:

Despair.com unveils KLEPTOCRACY Tees – Who Said Cheaters Never Win? http://cli.gs/sJp2eP.

Why would you want turn your Twitter feed into a marketing vehicle for Despair.com? Well, maybe it’s because we’re going to select ten random Twitterers who Tweet the http://cli.gs/sJp2eP URL and offer them the Kleptocracy Tee of their choice on Wednesday, March 11th. (NOTE: Your Tweet MUST include that URL in order for you to be entered into the drawing- we will be using Twitter Search in order to identify participating Twitters.)

Don’t have a Twitter account and don’t want one? Or have one and don’t want to flack another overpriced bit of cheeky gristle from Despair? I respect that. That’s why we’re offering a limited-time 20%-off coupon. Simply use the code KLEPTOCRACY when ordering one or more of these tees. (Please note: orders which include one or more tees should ship within two weeks.)

What are you waiting for? Please don’t tell me you don’t know what a Kleptocracy is! You better know- you’re in one!

 

It’s that time of year again. The time when we say our final goodbyes to inventory we no longer plan to restock and sell at Despair.com. The time where we bid adieu to some long-cherished lithographs, t-shirts, and other goods. Some are classics, others clunkers. But ALL of them are priced to sell! What does that mean? It means discounts of up to 60% off retail!

Yes, we’re stacking ‘em deep and sellin’ em cheap! But at prices this low, most of these items are certain to sell out quickly- and never return. Never again will you be able to purchase certain classic lithographs like “Pessimism”, “Underachievement”, or “Dysfunction” (and never before could you pick them up for only $7.95 each!). Never again will you have a chance to own our rare, limited-run black “Irony” shirt, or Silver-edition i > u tee.

And are we really selling our luxurious, impossibly comfortable Executive Edition embroidered Frowny shirts (depicted above) for 50% off? Even when the shirt itself cost us more than $40 to produce?! Yes, we bloody well are!

All of these bargains- and a great many more- are available exclusively to you as yet another privilege of your membership in The Wailing List. But please note- it’s first come, first serve. And within a very short span of time, many of these items will have sold out forever. So if you’re the bargain hunting sort, or perhaps you’ve long had your eye on a certain poster or t-shirt- but simply couldn’t afford the standard purchase price- this is your chance to save a fortune. So act on it!