Cupid Keeps Missing – The Limited-Edition Valentine’s Tee
ON JANUARY 5TH, WE’RE MAKING THIS LIMITED-RUN TEE AVAILABLE FOR THE UNWASHED MASSES. (IF THERE ARE ANY LEFT, THAT IS.)
The dreadful specter of the Year 2009 emerges like some apocalyptic beast from the tumultuous seas of future history, looking every bit as overwrought and painful to endure as the opening independent clause of this sentence has proven to be.
In a year likely to be bitterly fruitful with miseries- one day in particular promises to stand out from among them. February 14th. A holiday which celebrates the endless promise of romantic love by blissfully tormenting all those who will spend the day loveless and alone.
But fear not- for wherever large, suffering masses of embittered souls can be found, so too can Despair, Inc. Offering a sympathetic shoulder to cry on while ever-so-gently picking your pocket- leaving only some dark-humored, overpriced tschotschkes as receipt.
Coming this January 5th, Despair will introduce to the public our latest Valentine’s Day collectible- the limited-run “Cupid Keeps Missing” t-shirt- in men’s and women’s versions. A shirt which shows only too well just how crappy a shot Cupid really is. But before the shirt is added to our site and promoted to the public-at-large, we wanted to provide our most loyal audience- the subscribers to the Wailing List- with the chance to order first.
And- while you’re picking up your shirt and its corresponding Numbered Certificate of Authenticity- why not go ahead and load-up on our fantastic BitterSweets candies?
We’ve got collections for the Dejected, the Dysfunctional (above), and the Dumped- at least one of which is very likely to be perfect for you. Am I right?