Introducing the all new Demotivator® Posterbook Calendar
CALENDAR BUYERS- WE’VE GOT BIG NEWS.
Introducing Two New Sizes For Our Build-Your-Own Calendars.
In 2006, Despair introduced one of the most radical innovations ever visited upon the fiercely competitive calendar printing universe- the Build-Your-Own Calendar. The already considerable divide that separated Despair from other pretenders to the Worlds-Most-Badassical-Calendar Throne grew suddenly and massively wider.
Did the celebrated Painter-of-Light – who sells calendars by the millions – offer his taste-impaired fans a chance to select their favorite from his nearly limitless collection of dayglo, tacky kitsch? Not a chance.
Did those storied purveyors of high-brow denigrations like Hot Buns provide their slobbering devotees with the chance to choose which pair of soapy buttocks might stare back at them in their trailer-of-business for a given month? (Or which Stetson-sporting, steroid-pumping gym-rat might adorn their edition of Studs & Spurs, ladies?) Of course not.
Did the bottom-feeding rip-off artists behind the lawsuit-waiting-to-happen Depressories calendar- which shamelessly steals a dozen Demotivator® themes and aphorisms right from Despair’s own collection and then has the gaul to claim they were “derived from life’s pitfalls”- offer their fans the opportunity to choose their favorites design? No- but that’s actually because they have no fans*…
In fact, in all of the calendar world, only the tiniest handful have managed to offer something half-as-innovative as Despair’s Build-Your-Own Calendar tool. And yet-incredibly- rather than simply rest on our own sets of Not-So-Hot-Buns, Despair is once again offering calendar buyers a radical new innovation- Choose-Your-Own Size. Now customers have a choice between a compact, economic Desktop Edition (4.75″ x 5.25″), our familiar Standard Edition (8.5″ x 11″), and the new crowning jewel of the line-up- the spectacular PosterBook Edition (11.5″ x 14″).
The massive, striking PosterBook edition is more than just a calendar- thanks to the miracle of micro-perforated pages. This 11.5″ x 14″ Deluxe Wall Calendar is printed on sturdy art stock with microscopic perforation lines on both the top portion of the page and just above the calendar grid portion near the bottom.
This brilliant innovation allows one to quickly and cleanly remove a smooth-edged Demotivator poster from the calendar after that given month has past. At only $29.95 per PosterBook calendar, that amounts to $2.50 per print- what a steal!
And speaking of steals- Despair is allowing our Blog subscribers a chance to pre-order their first PosterBook calendar for only $15.95! That’s a shocking $1.33 per print! If you want to take advantage of this discount, simply use the coupon code “POSTERBOOK” (no quotes) when placing your order and your first one will be half-priced!
PLEASE NOTE:
The PosterBook Calendar does not allow for the inclusion of custom-printed date reminders. The date grid is a simple design, offering buyers a minimalist view of the days of the month. Demotivators with a Portrait (Vertical) orientation are not available in this calendar configuration for aesthetic reasons… Limit one discounted PosterBook calendar per order. Orders which include this calendar will ship by the first week of November…
Unlike certain aforementioned calendars featuring shiny heinies, our Desktop Edition is completely discreet- offering buyers 12 months of customized Demotivation in a compact design that is economical in cost AND space utilization. And for those of you worried about getting in trouble for displaying subversive artwork in the workplace, we’ve added an extra bonus feature to the Desktop Edition- the QuickFlip Disguise.
Printed on the back of every calendar page is a painfully corny alternative calendar- mirroring the worst of what the hope shoveling hucksters in the calendar market have to offer. How painfully corny, you wonder?
Ugh!
And yet again, Despair is offering Wailing List subscribers a chance to preorder and save serious bucks. Now is your chance- because as with the PosterBook version, we’re making your first one available for 50% off. Instead of paying $12.95, it’s available for $6.50! That’s about $.50 per page! But only to those who use the coupon code “DESKTOP” (no quotes) when placing their order.
PLEASE NOTE:
Demotivators with a Portrait (Vertical) orientation are not available in this calendar configuration for aesthetic reasons… Also- you can’t save 50% on this calendar AND the PosterBook edition- you’ll unfortunately have to choose between discounts on one or the other. But all is not lost- because we’re still making an amazing freebie available no matter which coupon code you use, if you order before end of day on Friday. Read on!
But perhaps the PosterBook is too large for your workspace? And the Desktop edition is too slight? Well, there’s always the workhorse of our calendar lineup- the Standard Edition.
Available in 12-month and 16-month versions, the Standard Edition remains our most flexible of calendars. Want to fill the calendar full of amusing date reminders- birthdays, anniversaries, holidays not celebrated by WASPs? This calendar is the one for you! And while we’re not offering it for half-price during this promotion- we are temporarily suspending the $0.20 per-custom-date fee so that those of you looking to pick up some highly personalized Holiday Gifts can do so without paying a fortune in markup costs. So order quickly- this offer ends at end-of-day Friday!
Still not ready to get off the fence? What do we have to do- offer you a FREE 24 pack of Demotivator Vinyl Adhesives to seal the deal? Really? Well- you are in luck. If you want to pick up a set of 24- yes I said 24- Vinyl Adhesives (featuring designs not released in our two early sets of 8)- you can do so. A 24-pack of these things would retail for $24.95- and incredibly, it is yours for the taking for FREE. But please note- this only works if you go to this link and add it to your cart. This isn’t a drop-in Freebie. If you don’t go to that link and add it to your cart, it will not be included in your order! The folks in the call center will not be sympathetic to you if you call and complain that we forgot to include your freebies if you did not add them to your cart- instead they will chortle and snicker at you.
So- there you have it. Three new calendars and an amazing freebie- and all you have to do to get them is follow simple instructions and make sure you act before end of day Friday.