The Blackout is On!
The Blackout Is On!
The Greatest Sales Event of the Year is ON!
Featuring New Hoodies! A New T-Shirt! A New Demotivator! And a Plethora of Freebies!
For 48-hours only- all lithographs are $9.95 ($6 off!).
All desktoppers are only $12.95 ($3 off!).
All new Fall-Edition Calendars are only $15.95 ($4 off- and you get unlimited free dates- which regularly cost $0.20 each!)
And guess what else? Now you can CHOOSE which month your calendar starts with- with the click of a mouse! (And hark! What’s that I hear? The sound of early Christmas shoppers saving themselves a fortune by buying their calendars NOW? Wow! And I thought you all were chronic procrastinators!)
But remember- we’re not just lowering prices for 2 days, we’re also unveiling several new products! Now that the Blackout sale is officially underway, I can finally disclose them:
First- it’s another brand new Demotivator- WHINING!
If you expect to score points by whining, join a European soccer team.
And before any of you write angry emails to ME- I would encourage you to at least pay a quick visit to Youtube to watch this and then this and then, if you still aren’t convinced, to read this.
We also are now making two of our most popular t-shirt designs- Knock-Knock and i>u- finally available as Hoodies!
And for those of you feeling caught up in the spirit of the political season, Despair is also proud to introduce an entirely new addition to the DespairWear lineup- the Dr. Kersten Despair Tee.
The Face That Has Uninspired Millions Is Now A Fashion Statement.
And as if all these discounts and new products weren’t excuse enough to engage in wanton spending on your soon-to-be-bankrupted credit card, don’t forget that- as with all Blackout sales- we’re including incredible freebies with any order for $25 or more worth of goods!
- First, spend $25 or more and you’ll automatically receive a FREE 16-pack of our wildly popular new Demotivator Vinyl Adhesives!
- If you break $45 or more, you’ll also receive a 24-pack of Demotivator postcards
- And if you manage to spend $60 or more, you’ll automatically receive an additional FREE set of six 11″x14″ Demotivator Prints (including Government, Sanity, Worth, Procrastination, Meetings and the brand-new design, Whining!)
What more do you want from us? I mean, we’re giving you tons of free junk and super discounts and new stuff and easier-to-use calendar-building tools and everything! We can’t make it any easier! What do we have to do- break into your house and STEAL your money from you, while leaving behind a bunch of our overpriced crizap? Don’t back us into a corner!