The Return of FREE SHIPPING!
FREE SHIPPING IS BACK!
(Until the end of July, at least.)
Not a day goes by without Despair receiving dozens of complaints about our supposedly “outrageous” shipping costs. I don’t even work in the Customer Service group- but even I receive a steady stream of angry emails from people who are tired of having to pay high fees to get already overpriced non-essential discretionary items shipped to their various homes and places of business.
One recent complaint from an angry customer stated:
“I pay $125 each time I fillup my truck. U R RUBBING(sic) ME BLIND! Lower yer shipping fees u crooks so some of us can afford them again!”
This complaint was entirely typical of the many we receive on a daily basis (provided she actually meant to say “ROBBING”*). Incredibly, customers sending such complaints seem to assume that Despair’s shipping costs are a matter of our own choosing, and apparently take place in a universe of solar-powered UPS delivery trucks.
The cost of fuel hurts all of us. Dr. Kersten himself complained recently- in a recent visit to the call center- that it just cost him $100 to fill up the tank of his Porsche. There was a scent of commiseration in the air- at least until he began to enumerate his other complaints. Like how the skyrocketing fuel costs were driving up the price of importing his favorite 30-year single malt scotches. Or how increasing oil prices were affecting the cost of fertilizer and making the whole business of maintaining a topiary far more of a headache than he’d ever imagined…
“Oh blast it… But where else am I going to put a 6 foot tall bronze minotaur sculpture? Just open the bloody Anwar Reserve already! I’m dying here!”
That’s a direct quote. I kid you not.
But to the surprise of all- Kersten followed this litany of complaints with either a rare display of generosity (or- more probably- a very typical display of business cunning). He decided to authorize the return of Despair’s once-in-a-blue-moon FREE SHIPPING coupon. Those wishing to get free shipping on their next domestic order need only include the coupon code “fuelsubsidy” (without quotes) when checking out of the store.
In order to qualify for the free shipping promotion, you must be delivering to an address in the United States. There isn’t a limit on the amount of items you may order during the promotion- so if you feel inclined to get ahead on Christmas shopping by picking up a bunch of t-shirts or mugs or lithographs or calendars while shipping is free, go right ahead. The coupon code is valid through the end of the month. I was specifically told that this would be the only free-shipping promotion of 2008- so if you’re the sort who has been whining about our shipping costs- you better load up!
