The Bummertime Sale!
THAT’S RIGHT! $5 OFF ALL TEES (INCLUDING 3 NEW ONES!)
AND THERE’S EVEN A WAILING-LIST EXCLUSIVE FREEBIE,
DEMONSTRATED ON VIDEO FOR YOU BY DR. E.L. KERSTEN!
I can hardly believe it myself- that I’m sending out a Wailing List plugging 4 NEW PRODUCTS at once. Yet here we are! I won’t waste your time with a lot of marketing blahsmack this time around- let’s get right to the new stuff! Starting with my personal favorite…
Yes, it’s our latest entry in the beloved Despair Illustrated collection- the beautiful new “Overtime” Tee! Depicting a desktop perhaps not unlike your own- where an unnamed worker, perhaps not unlike you- has been forced by circumstances beyond his (or her) control into Overtime Play… Where everyone goes home a winner (except, of course, for the employer… Who stands to lose money AND office supplies…)
And how about another little something for you nerdy, scientific sorts? It’s The Rad Tee. And if you don’t understand why it’s the most rad shirt ever made, then you probably have a far more vibrant social life than those of us who DO get it, and think it’s funny… (Lucky jerks…) And hey there nerdy ladies! This one comes in a babydoll tee cut, too!
And last of all- for those of you who prefer your t-shirt humor a little more obvious and a little more confrontational- we’re pleased to introduce you to our new Headache tee. It’s the perfect way to quietly prevail in nearly any argument you might stumble into. In fact, with a shirt like this, you’ll find yourself probably starting arguments just so you can push people to try to counter you, whereupon your eyes need only drift slowly to your own chest while your hands are raised slowly to your temples. That’ll show ‘em!
But we’re still not finished!
Because not only are we discounting ALL of our t-shirts by $5, and not only are we rolling out 3 new designs that rock heavily, we’re also giving you Wailing List subscribers a rare chance to get something as yet unavailable to the outside world- and for free!
The picture and link above will take you to a full-scale product demonstration- offered by Dr. E.L.Kersten. And for a limited time- Wailing List subscribers can get their first set for free! Just add one to your cart and you’ll see the price is $0!. Each additional set is $9.95! (But hey there short-cut lovers- don’t think you can put one in your cart and complete your order… The store minimums are set to $19.95 for any order. You gotta spend SOMETHING- this ain’t a not-for-profit created for the purposes of bringing happiness to those suffering from melancholia. It’s a for-profit created for the purposes of liberating disposable income from the pockets of that same constituency… We’ll give something back to society once we’re crazy rich ourselves, in the grand tradition of other robber barons.)
That’s it! START SPENDING!