The Despair Inc. Blog

 * Or So I Was Told to Say by my Superior in Marketing (who apparently had her brakes recently relined…)

Actually it’s because we haven’t sent out a Wailing List in 3 weeks and are trying to silence those of you who are sending in angry emails about it…No coupon codes necessary. Just start shopping. Everything in the store is 25% off, without exception (except for, uh, a few things like Gift Certificates, etc.)

Now- in answer to those of you who have been writing me (or calling the already beleaguered folks in the Call Center) and asking WHY we haven’t sent out a new Wailing List in three weeks… The short answer is that, well, the Product Development department didn’t send us any new stuff to promote since the Blackout. Because (drum roll) they’ve been working on the next Despair Video (Inserting obligatory link to my personal favorite here).

 Yeah, you remember those things… The videos that were supposed to come out once a month? From the same department that promise a new t-shirt every week? (Subtle throat-clearing sound here.)

Well, a new one is coming. About it, I know very little- but what I do know, I will share.It’s apparently called “Teamwork”.  Supposedly, it’s epic in length.  After the head-writer mailed me the title and estimated run time (9 minutes?!), I wrote back and said, “I’m not going to plug your vaporware anymore.  I’m looking like a idiot hyping your videos whenever you ask me.  I’m already looking like a bonehead for your a-new-shirt-a-week promise, since it’s been three weeks since you mailed me one.”

Then- to my absolute shock- he mailed me a new shirt (apparently in a passive-aggressive retort) and some pics from the upcoming video. Big pics. Like 1920 x 1200 big.They’ve told me everything Despair shoots is in HD- but I always thought that was also hype, since the videos they release online are like 320 x 240 pixels. But here are pics- in low-res below (and if you click on them, in HD).

So I stand corrected. (Barely.)Oh yeah, anyway, in case, in my tangential meanderings, you missed the main point of this mail- I’ll sum it up here.Everything in the store (almost) is 25% off until Midnight, this Saturday.

If you are looking for early Father’s Day presents or whatever, or you celebrate Cinco de Mayo, or you’ve some other occasion to shop for- now is your chance.They’ve released a new shirt. It’s called “Accept”. It is available for purchase (25% off!) here:

A new video is coming in May.  Called Teamwork. Somehow, in HD. (Quick note to the IT department… Jud, Kevin- if you didn’t already get the warning from Product Development, it may be time to look into additional bandwidth. Don’t let them set you up to get scapegoated when the whole thing crashes the site… You know that’s coming…)

That’s it. Are you excited? (I am… Kinda…)