6 New Tees from the Artist of Despair Illustrated
WHEN YOU’RE JUST TOO DEPRESSED TO WEAR DESPAIRWEAR…
You’ve already seen his masterful hand at work in Despair’s popular line of Illustrated tees. Â Working closely with the deeply embittered writers of Despair, Inc.- he’s produced designs as beautiful as they are tragic, including Despair’s most popular t-shirt yet, the now-no-longer-available Twas The Night Before Christmas.
Has dark humor ever seemed more gleeful? Could someone so gifted at illustrating Despair possibly be anything other than a black-hearted malcontent, a soul laboring quietly in darkness, collecting unto himself ever more grudges and resentments towards his few peers, his broken family, and especially his boss, who demonstrates only a talent for drinking during the workday and for underestimating the amazing worth one particular employee in the department who has proven his value a hundred times over but keep getting marginalized because he dropped out of UT Austin back in the 90s and once made a crack at a company party in 2001 about “Fun/Ed” before he realized his boss actually graduated from that particular institute of higher learning and apparently didn’t find that a cause for shame.
Actually…. The answer, to my continuing surprise, is yes. Apparently there are some perfectly well-adjusted people out there who can weave in-and-out of pessimistic humor without having to live the life of an unsung hero in a marketing department at a company specializing in cynical humor products. How do I know this? Because I actually had a drink with him and some other unhappy Despair employees at Opal Devine’s in South Austin several weeks ago- and despite my repeated attempts to get him to reject his reflex optimism and look on the darkside for a change, he maintained an utterly sunny disposition. And yet- put a mouse in his hand, and five minutes later he’s drawing a picture of the grim reaper as seen through a peep-hole. It’s freaky.
I’m sorry I keep digressing.
Anyway, his name is Glenn. He’s a genius. Apparently there are some of them out there who aren’t constantly being tormented by their brilliance and/or a drunk-half-the-time VP of Marketing with a degree in “Business & Office Skills” from a defunct D/FW educational “alternative” to whom they report.
With the help of certain unsung heroes at Despair who I think you may know, Glenn now has his own separate new online enterprise called GlennzTees- and as you can probably tell by the beautiful and cool illustration embedded in this e-mail, he’s fantastic even when not conjuring up images of Santa Claus being turned into a V8 by a 767 jet engine.
Launching with 6 initial designs, GlennzTees is going to be, very simply, your greatest source of hilarious but undepressing shirts on the Internet.
Since most of you live lives of quiet desperation at best, and the rest of you are rather loud about it, it may be that you have no personal NEED of amusing but not despairing tees. But even if you don’t, you’ve probably got someone in your family or at your workplace who might just love a Prankster tee, or a Split Personality tee, or any of the other beautiful and funny designs he is making available. All of his tees are printed on the same 10-color press that DespairWear is printed on- and on the same oh-so-comfortable American Apparel brand shirts. In short, they’re perfect, if you don’t mind the fact that they’re not depressing. And while you’re at it, make sure you subscribe to Glennz Blog.
But speaking of depressing tees illustrated by Glenn, we’re getting lower-and-lower on our his and hers versions of the limited-edition Young Love tees. They’re likely to be all gone in a matter of weeks. So if you haven’t picked one up, and you think you might one day want to, you better act fast.
FIN.
