Despair in WSJ “If at First You Don’t Succeed…”
IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, FAILURE MAY BE MORE YOUR STYLE.
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL
Success may be sweet, but Larry Kersten is betting that bitterness will pay off.
An entrepreneur with a Ph.D. in organizational studies, Dr. Kersten is the founder of Despair Inc., a Dallas company that has developed a “demotivational” line of stationery products designed for those who toast their lack of achievement with half-empty glasses.
The set of 12 posters feature dead-on parodies of those ubiquitous inspirational scenes of man vs. nature that dot the walls of rent-by-the-hour conference rooms and lurk behind doors marked “Employees Only.”
Top sellers include “PROCRASTINATION: Hard Work Often Pays Off After Time, But Laziness Always Pays Off Now,” “MEDIOCRITY: It Takes A Lot Less Time and Most People Won’t Notice the Difference Until It’s Too Late” and “APATHY,” which features a giant picture of a cob-webbed rotary phone and the phrase “If We Don’t Take Care Of The Customer, Maybe They’ll Stop Bugging Us.”
The demotivational line was introduced at a stationery show earlier this year, but Dr. Kersten and his four partners decided to save distribution costs and sell through the company’s Web site, www.despair.com. And while the posters have proven popular, Despair’s biggest seller is the 1999 wall calendar, a constant reminder that every day can be a bad one.
Promising “monthly inspirations for underachievers, pessimists and the chronically unsuccessful,” the calendar points out the dates of various calamities in the history of mankind, including Oct. 2, 1976, when “Disco Duck” topped the charts, and Oct. 8, the 127th anniversary of the Chicago fire. Computer users may argue whether the introduction of Windows 95 on Aug. 24, 1995, constitutes a genuine catastrophe.
Despair Inc. has sold more than 6,000 calendars to date, including 1,500 in the past two weeks now that cynics have discovered the site and are e-mailing copies of their favorite sayings to friends. The company also plans a line of “Despair Wear” clothing, including T-shirts, hats and underwear. “We think boxer shorts with the saying ‘Increasing Success Through Lowering Expectations’ should do well,” Dr. Kersten says.
“Mediocrity is rampant,” he explains, noting that he was forced to change the name of his company from “Disparities” because people either didn’t know what it meant, or had a hard time spelling it. “Despair is easy to remember and easy to spell,” he adds cheerfully.