Fry’s Electronics orders 5,000 Apathy Posters
FRY’S ELECTRONICS ORDERS 5000 “APATHY” POSTERS TO CELEBRATE THEIR CONTINUING COMMITMENT TO CUSTOMER DISSERVICE(TM).
DALLAS, TX – November 3, 1998 — The call came in sometime after midnight. As soon as COO Kersten was informed that Fry’s Electronics was calling, he rushed to the telephone.
“I immediately sensed the limitless potential. My own customer experiences with Fry’s were so excruciatingly painful that I was overwhelmed with the possibilities of a relationship. They are truly Jedis of Customer Disservice™, from whom I could learn much,” Kersten stated.
Kersten was flattered to learn that Fry’s was calling to talk business. Company President John Fry wanted to purchase APATHY Demotivators(tm), thousands of them. He had seen the design during a visit to his local post office, and felt it perfectly articulated their own indifferent sentiments towards customers. In completing the transaction, Fry’s became the largest single customer of APATHY poster outside of the government sector.
“It is a wonderful irony that the company that turned Customer Disservice™ into an artform has entered into a relationship with the company that turned it into artwork. We couldn’t be more flattered,” offered Kersten on the purchase.
In reply, Fry offered, “This will keep our employees from losing sight of what is important. — Nothing.”
At one point, during a conversation with Fry, the notoriously unemotional Kersten found himself choked up with tears. His personal secretary and confidante of ten years, “Hey You”, later commented that they had revealed some radical new techniques for Customer Disservice™ they intended to test in their Dallas store.
Kersten declined to reveal details, saying only, “How much does body armor go for these days?” This led some to speculate that Fry’s may be considering shooting customers at random to gauge subsequent buying patterns.
Fry’s legendary indifference to customer service, although occasionally drawing criticism and media scrutiny, has only led to increased loyalty amongst their customer base and continued explosive growth. Analysts theorize that Fry’s customer base, heavily skewed towards poorly socialized, pure geek demographics, may actually derive some erotic gratification from the masochistic purchasing experience.